LifeBox

I really like those little “cool mint” gelatin breath strips. If only they were caffeinated, they’d be the perfect little snack. Unfortunately, due to lack of coffee in the house, my wakeup was a handful of Penguin mints, instead.

So, I made it out to the derby bout at the Expo Center again today. Still about a hundred degrees out, only there were about twice as many poser CPA bikers out - which meant that even if they were as quiet as the losers in the audience yesterday, there’d still be a good amount of noise.

The bout went really well. Not as many injuries, but there were a lot of fights on the floor. The first matchup ended with at least three or four piles of girls wrestling around on the track. Pandemonium! But, I got a good batch of pictures this time around, I think, and there was fun to be had all around.

One of the draws was that Jerry Lee Lewis was supposed to play there sometime around the same time the girls were finishing up, but it sounds like he pulled some rock star crap, and he was rescheduled to play around 6:30pm or something. I decided that hanging out with a parking lot full of sweaty rednecks for three or four hours wasn’t really my idea of a good time, so I skipped out on Mr. Lewis, and headed home to get some work done. (Watch for a new Austin roller derby site to show up soon, maybe tonight…)

Or, you know, just install this, which works like a charm.

If you care about browsers not sucking at all, go sign up for bugzilla, and vote up this bug, which will make draggable tabs work, and will also make Bernie happy.

Plus, for all you prospective employers out there diligently reading this every day, who may have forgotten, I still need a job. Hop to it, already.

I’ve always wanted to do an online comic. Well, not always, but ever since I saw someone else do it, and said, “hey, that’s cool. me too!” Because, you know, I don’t have any original ideas.

Which brings me to the problem. I can’t draw, and I’m not funny. So, so much for that, then.

So, today was the big Texas Roller Girls bout for the Republic of Texas bike rally at the Austin Expo center. The arena was huge, and the chicks were awesome - but the audience sucked. I’ve never seen a quieter bunch of bikers in my life. Girls! In skimpy costumes! Skating! And fighting! Spanking! Fire! Punk rock! Come on, people! I swear, these Texas Harley dudes are a bunch of lawyers and CPAs or something. Either that, or they were just really hot, tired, and drunk.

It was just tapping 100 degrees out today. Outside, it was like Burning Man for rednecks or something. Hot, smelly, tents and bikes everywhere, people chilling outside their RVs. Plus, more confederate flags than I’ve ever seen in my life. Well, everybody’s got to do something, I guess.

Anyway, got home, and our pal Dan (a derby husband) showed up to start working on our roof. He actually has real-world skills, like building houses and fixing stuff, so we get him to come over every now and then and do stuff like install a vent for a kitchen fan, or fix our leaky-ass roof before another thunderstorm comes and washes the spider out. So, today, our fearless friend was up there in the heat, washing away all the crud in preparation for sealing. Then we had pizza. The end.

Tomorrow, more derby action, and Jerry Lee Lewis.

Jesus fucking christ. I’m getting spam bounces again, this time from from some shit-heel pushing pheremones. (Mailing address on page) The company sending the actual messages is “Leading Edge Marketing”, in the Bahamas, I assume, from their whois record:

Leading Edge Marketing, Leading Edge Marketing domains@leminternet.com
PO Box CR-56766
Suite #1210
Nassau, New Providence —
BS
810-815-1672

I heartily encourage any and all civic-minded Internet users to track down and punish these motherless fucks in whatever manner seems appropriate. Not only are they wasting the bandwidth and time of who knows how many million email readers, but they’re using my name to sign their poo-flings, causing me to deal with their bounces, and possibly getting my domain on a blacklist somewhere. Time to make these Joe Jobbing asshats pay.

I swear to god, if I ever meet a spammer in person, the devil’s gonna need a wig.

Oh, also, my dad called today, and told me that I need to update this more often, so he can keep track of what I’m up to. Okay, I’ll try…

This is pretty sickening. Not only is Amazon selling those retarded “Iraqi Most Wanted” playing cards, but they’re promoting them on their front page. Aren’t we over that yet? Aren’t we supposed to be beating up on Syria or Iran these days? Or are we too busy planning how to run our own death camps to pay attention. Ugh.

In other, less stomach-turning news, Bernie’s mom was here visiting for the long weekend. We had a good time, but I think Bernie was running us a little bit ragged near the end; I think the mom unit just wanted to relax, but hey. Among other things, we hit the Salt Lick for some BBQ, the Westcave preserve for some tropical fun, and… well, lots of stuff. I don’t remember. Anyway, she got back to California safely today. Now, back to working on the house and trying to scrape up a job.

Dear America:

Please stop doing stupid shit like this, so we can go back to making fun of the French without feeling like fascist dickwads. Thank you.

Love, Marc

So, yesterday, I took about eight hours and played me through that Enter The Matrix game. Not so good. I think the most favorable review I can give it is, “Mercifully Short”. The extra hour of film is good, and the movie/story tie-ins are decent, and there are a few cool matrix-fu moves, but overall, it felt like a mediocre PSOne game. So sad. Skip the game, see if you can find the video online somewhere.

And now, for work.